Happy National Doughnut Day: Live Blogging from the Doughnut Vault

I arrive at 8:57.
The line is about 26 deep. For a $3 doughnut.
The college girls in front of me are talking about getting high and freaking out last night.
Now they have to pee.
Now they’re talking about the papers they have to write.
Their voices are raspy. Presumably from a late night.
People are arriving in line saying, “it’s not that bad,” referring to the line, which is not so bad indeed, depending on your opinion of waiting a half hour for a $3 doughnut.
Clearly, this is a first world problem.
There is an ambulance driving by. Maybe it’s a fire truck. Could be a police car.
I rode the crowded el down here.
Boy am I glad I don’t have to do that every day.
A little kid is running back and forth on some steps. Back and forth. Back and forth. The girls in front like him. They like his clothes. They observe that all the girls in line are looking at him. But I’m not looking at him. I’m far too busy liveblogging the experience of waiting now 15 minutes in line for a doughnut.
People who have already walked in and gotten their doughnuts walk by with their Doughnut Vault boxes, and a smug look as they pass the line of the hungry. It’s like they’re hunters, carrying their fried, yeasty kill.
It is 9:13.
There are about 10 people to go. I am too busy liveblogging to check the @DoughnutVault twitter feed and see how many doughnuts are left.
People arrive with Starbucks. Why, when here you can get French pressed Metropolis? Or is it Metropolitan? This weekend I passed an Illinois town called Illiopolis.
It is 916.
The BF texted. He wants an old fashioned. Or a vanilla glazed. I hope they don’t run out.
I would like a gingerbread stack.
9 people.
918. A girl just left with three boxes. Does that fall within the half dozen limit, bitch?
919. Seven people. The tension is palpable.
920. Four. I was gonna take a pic of the sign but someone blocked it. The two girls in front of me just posed in front of it.
Ohmygod it is almost time.
922. Three. Someone says it’s like being at Disneyland, waiting for a ride. And they’re right.
I’m entering the chute. More after the feast.

Review: I got three types: old fashioned, gingerbread and glazed chestnut. The old fashioned was forgettable. Chestnut: light, fluffy, and completely craveable. Gingerbread: I’m a sucker for cake doughnuts, so this stack o three was tops. Cinnamony with a hint of ginger. Fanger licking good. Coffee: delicious and a bargain for $1. Total cost: $9, plus 30 minutes in line and an hour total on train. Would I do it again? Maybe next National Doughnut Day. Am I satisfied? Yes. For the moment.

Note: please excuse typos, misspellings, etc. Live blogging has a grammatical dark side.

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